Feltham Rambles

A man in Newfoundland calls his son in Calgary two days before Christmas and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Vancouver and tell her." Frantic, the son
calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"No way they're getting divorced!" she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Newfoundland immediately and screams at her father, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there by
tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing. DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Christmas and paying their own way."

Given the fact that I am actually sitting on a computer at 1:30am on Christmas day is proof enough that this is a different holiday for me. It’s the first time in my short existence that I have not spent the celebration of the birth of a great swear word (give it a minute, it will come to you) outside of Newfoundland – more importantly without my family.

Carrie has been working slave hours at the juvenile delinquent asylum, which I will try to remember the next time I complain about my job. Ebenezer Scrooge penned her in for four midnights in a row (from the 23rd to 26th), so basically she has been working all night and sleeping all day. Yours truly has been biding his time with booze, food and movies, which would generally keep me content. And, as much as I try to look on the brightside of things, I can’t help but long for my family, friends, tradition and the freeze briny breeze of the ocean.

Let’s hope this is the last time it happens; and as I polish off this bottle or black rum, I will smile at some digital memories from the last five holidays…

I had a consultation for laser eye surgery yesterday and it looks like I will be getting the procedure done next Friday! Ever since I had to wear corrective lenses - whether it’s contacts or glasses – I have hated more than I could ever tell you. Knowing that I can wake up every day being able to see or falling asleep while watching a movie and not rising with broken glasses or dry contacts is going to be an indescribable feeling.

Just to let you know, if you require corrective lenses, I will officially be better than you in a little over a week.

Is Rural Newfoundland and Labrador Alive?

Is there a choice for our youth growing up in rural Newfoundland and Labrador? Are there success stories among all the doom and gloom we so often hear?

Watch your local news coverage on Wednesday Dec 20th for a press conference containing more on how we can all play our part. The conference will include guest speakers; Ray Johnson of Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellas and a member of both the CLCC and NLDL, young entrepeneurs like Chan Wiseman of the Young Farmers Forum, Shelly Broomfield, Jill Curran and special guest, platinum award winning musician and proud son of Newfoundland and Labrador, Rex Goudie!

Other well known names will also be in attendance so make sure to tune in and check your local papers the next day for further coverage.

Stay tuned Newfoundland and Labrador.

I couldn't help but think of this word today at the office:

We have a committee within our department that has been tasked to improve communications within our global team. I won’t dispute that these individuals are very sharp and probably have wonderful ideas to bring to the table. But, this was all cast aside when I noticed everyone in the meeting sitting in their own cubicle with telephone headsets on instead of sitting together in a single room. Let's improve communications by exhibiting horrible communication, yes, irony indeed.

New definition of "in distress". Before you read the bottom, you have to have a guess as to how this happened.

Isn't that just amazing. They were laying new power cables. They were strung on the ground for miles. The moose are rutting right now and very agitated. He was thrashing around and got his antlers stuck. When the men (miles away) pull the lines up with their big equipment, he went too. They couldn't get the lines right and went searching for the problem. He was still alive when they lowered him, but he had to be shot later because he was in distress.

Where would I even begin to describe my trip this past week to Alberta and BC! Like most things in life you can generally relate it to a movie, in this case it would actually be three movies mixed into one; Roadtrip meets Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas meets The Great Outdoors.

If you have not visited Western Canada, than do yourself a favour and get out there sometime. For an outdoors person like me this place is a mecca, nowhere else on earth can you be so far from civilization but at the same time right in the middle of it.

The trip was eye opening on many different levels; it occurred to me that this was the first time in nine years that Mike, Robert and I were in the same company of each other. Do the math and that equals a third of my life; the same equation works out for most people that I grew up with Glovertown. To anyone who has met a Newfoundlander you don’t need to be told that we are a unique nation of people. Although I realize this more than most - and fight the good fight to better our people - it never sits in more than after spending extended time with a crowd from home. I can’t remember having such a good time and feeling more accepted than this past weekend in a long time. Not having to repeat myself, using words and dialects that only we can understand and laughing just as much at ourselves than others is a joy I miss dearly.

I have always felt that a certain point in my life would come when I would weigh my career and finances versus quality of life (of course pick the second of the two decisions). I am not sure if that is where I am today, but it is calling more and more.

I received word that my promotion / group move at work has been approved within our department, next week I should officially be a Project Manager, let’s just hope the raise is big enough to give me a raise. I also had a successful project kickoff meeting this morning, followed by a great lunch and a couple of cold ones. Work is looking up for once.

Tomorrow I will be in Western Canada, spending time between Calgary, Banff and god only knows where we end up in BC. I have a bunch of 'meetings' in the city on Thursday, which should be interesting, only time and situtation changes will tell how I will deal with that potential decision…

My old buddies Mike and Robert are getting off the night shift tomorrow, jumping into a car and driving south from Fort McMurray to meet me in Calgary. To those of you who know us, I’m sure you’re shaking your head as you’re reading this and only imaging the trouble we are going to get in! Throw Pete in the mix and we have a recipe for disaster.

It is so good to get away!

The site below is a pretty good place for travel info, but they also have an application that allows you to enter the places in the world that you have visited. There is so little time to see the world...

http://www.world66.com/myworld66/

61% of Canada



37% of USA



3% of the world

When the world was ruled by religion, it was referred to as the dark ages. Although we like to think we have matured as a society, it is still religion that keeps us from progressing into a truly global community.

Regardless of the belief system, they all seems to preach tolerance and understanding as a core values. Which contiunes to amaze me, as the more religious you are, the more intolerance you generally display. If you truly want to find acceptance in this world, try speaking to an athesist, chances are they won't be looking down their nose judging your life the way the religious world does.

Islam is promoted as a peaceful belief system; however, I ask you to read the following recent statements from one of their top clerics and help me understand the peacefulness of the statements:

If the pursuit of the 'good life' means that I have to think I am somehow better than everyone else (common religious thinking), while getting high and banging boys on a weekly basis, I think I'll pass.

Pastor Ted Haggard is accused of paying for sex with a man and taking drugs at the same time. His book is shown on sale in the New Life Church bookstore.

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