Feltham Rambles

I move left, he moves left, I proceed to turn right, he turns right. "Do you need an ID or cover?" I ask the burley dimwitted bouncer blocking my path to the bar. "Well, actually we require a membership for you to enter the bar". A fucking membership to drink a measly beer? This guy has to be kidding. Well, ten minutes and four yankee dollars later, along with my personal information entered into a mysterious system; I am presented with a temporary membership. This provisional pass will allow me to drink at this bar only for the next two weeks (every bar requires a unique membership). What's more interesting about this situation is that I was not in North Korea or Saudi Arabia, but rather in Salt Lake City, Utah. In case you don't know, Utah is in America, yes, the same America that is hell bent on liberating the rest of the globe.

We are consistently informed that Middle Eastern countries are oppressed by fanatical religious groups and that all countries should be ruled by the people and not religion. This concept sounds good, but, if the majority of the people who have the freedom to vote are religious fanatics, the theory starts to loose its relevance. Case in point, Utah, where close to 80% of the population belongs to the Ladder Day Saints (LDS) or Mormon Cult, opps… I mean religion. This group has a strangle hold on the state and its laws like no other place I have seen in North America. Half of the real estate in the downtown area is owned and operated by the LDS. The center of their land investments is dominated by an ominous 19th century temple, which is off-limits to the general heathen population; what a shame as it's truly a breath taking structure. The LDS receives five billion a year in donations from members, six billion from merchandize, and 30 billion a year runs through the organization in some way shape or form. With revenues that high it's no wonder they are trying to change every law in the state to match their doctrine.

People who want to share their religious view with you, rarely ever want you to share yours with them, this couldn't be truer than in Utah. If you are a LDS follower and don't believe in certain aspects of life, I can accept that, but why feel the urge to force these restrictions on the rest of the population. I believe in karma marinated in sex, drugs and rock and roll, but you don't see me ramming my belief system down their throats. That is something I could never understand about religion; you do what you want to do and I will do what I want to do, both could turn the other cheek and live in harmony. The core foundation of most religions is peace and understanding, although, you rarely (if ever) see this.

The saddest part about my trip to Utah is that it's one of the most beautiful areas I have ever visited. Rolling prairies transform almost immediately into snow capped peaks nestled in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. It is an outdoor paradise; the air is fresh, the views spectacular and the people extremely friendly. But, fanatic religion hangs over the city like a cancer eating at the sole of the very freedoms America moralizes to the world. If it were not for this absolute foolishness, yours truly would seriously consider a move to Salt Lake City. However, with alcohol being a staple part of my diet, and my problem with authority and religion, this move will not happen anytime soon. I can only wonder how many other potential citizens and tax revenue the picturesque state of Utah has lost due to their backward laws.

To say it has been an interesting two weeks would be an understatement. My eye surgery went ahead as planned on the 29th and things have not been the same since. For starters, I would not wish the pain and discomfort I suffered during the first five days on my worst enemy – okay, well actually I would, but let’s just say it wasn’t fun. As always, the painkillers made for interesting dreams and such, but, then when I stopped taking them, I couldn’t sleep for three or four nights. I guess I have an addictive body, as I seemed to be jonesing for the meds as soon as they were gone.

11 days later and I still can’t see perfect, but I don’t have any need for glasses or contacts (I will actually be burning them this weekend, if you would like to join the ceremony, give me a ring). However, I did receive an infection in my left eye and it is still worrying me as my right eye is 20/20 and the left is only slightly better than before. I’ll keep the faith and hope that things improve over the next week.